


crack chats | pjo

by elsangi



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Accidental Plot, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Chaos, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Fic, F/F, F/M, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Theyna - Freeform, chat fic, frazel - Freeform, jasper - Freeform, percabeth, solangelo, the only plot is ethan's crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsangi/pseuds/elsangi
Summary: percy makes a groupchat and it the rest is history :)
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Juniper/Grover Underwood, Leo Valdez/Original Male Character(s), Luke Castellan/Ethan Nakamura, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Silena Beauregard/Clarisse La Rue, Thalia Grace/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano
Comments: 106
Kudos: 163





	1. drunkness to insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> they're sophomores in college and live in apartments  
> they're still demigods  
> they still go to camp half-blood but in summers only  
> juniper isn't a plant and is human  
> uh- silena, luke, and ethan aren't dead  
> silena and clarisse are dating (bc i want more gay ships in this au lmao)  
> luke and ethan are dating  
> luke and ethan are hero demigods and not villain demigods :)
> 
> \---
> 
> here's the username/person thing
> 
> percy: seaweedbrain  
> annabeth: wisegirl  
> grover: notadonkey  
> thalia: usedtobeatree  
> reyna: rEyNa  
> juniper: juniperbush  
> nico: deathboy  
> will: sunshine  
> leo: commandertoolbelt  
> jason: electriclove  
> piper: pipes  
> hazel: hazeleyes  
> frank: frankly  
> clarisse: murderonmymind  
> silena: beautifulanddeadly  
> rachel: redhead  
> luke: golden  
> ethan: revengeissweet

**seaweedbrain** created a groupchat

 **seaweedbrain** named the groupchat **chaotic bitches**

 **seaweedbrain** added **wisegirl** , **notadonkey** , **juniperbush** , **usedtobeatree** , **rEyNa** , **deathboy** , **sunshine** , **commandertoolbelt** , **electriclove** , **pipes** , **murderonmymind** , **beautifulanddeadly** , **redhead** , **golden** , **revengeissweet** , **hazeleyes** , and **frankly**

**seaweedbrain:**

hello everyone. welcome to this groupchat

**wisegirl:**

you named this gc chaotic bitches but you know for a fact that i'm not chaotic-

**pipes:**

oh ok

it wasn't you who percy dragged home from a party completely drunk

nope not at all

**usedtobeatree:**

wait annabeth-

that happened?

lmaoooo

**wisegirl:**

it did not thalia

**seaweedbrain:**

i can confirm that it did thalia

**wisegirl:**

SEAWEED BRAIN

**seaweedbrain:**

sorry :)

**usedtobeatree:**

annabeth i didn't peg you as the type to get drunk enough to have to be dragged home

**hazeleyes:**

ikr?  
i was so surprised when i saw percy carrying her to their apartment

**wisegirl:**

oh shut up hazel

it's embarrassing enough that i got drunk

**hazeleyes:**

oh? 

so you admit to being drunk?

**wisegirl:**

SHIT-

for legal reasons, i am passing away

**ghostking:**

wait-

annabeth got drunk and i didn't know about this?

percy how dare you withhold information from me

**seaweedbrain:**

oh shit- 

sorry nico

**ghostking:**

are you really

this would've been great blackmail to use when annabeth threatened to tell will that i wasn't sleeping last week

wait shit-

**ghostking** deleted a message

will you didn't see anything

**commandertoolbelt:**

LMAOOOOOO NICO YOU REALLY JUST DID THAT

**pipes:**

NICO-

I-

**revengeissweet:**

will, did u see that tho

**sunshine:**

yes i did

and nico.

**murderonmymind:**

totally don't have popcorn out rn

**seaweedbrain:**

wait rly

**murderonmymind:**

ya lmaoo

_[1 attachment]_

**beautifulanddeadly:**

ooh clarisse can we share

**murderonmymind:**

sure lol

**sunshine:**

will you guys shut up so i can scold nico properly

n e ways

nico.

**ghostking:**

i see that it is my time to leave

goodbye everybody

**ghostking** has left **chaotic bitches**

**sunshine:**

i-

**sunshine** added **ghostking**

**sunshine:**

nico.

did you really think that you could escape my lecture on s l e e p i n g.

**ghostking:**

please let me be sleep deprived in peace

**sunshine:**

i was gone. for ONE week nico.

and you didn't sleep-

**ghostking:**

nope

i didn't sleep at all the week you were gone lmaooooo

**commandertoolbelt:**

i can confirm :)

we were being insomniacs together

**ghostking:**

you rly shouldn't have said that

**sunshine:**

leo!

s l e e p i s i m p o r t a n t

is anyone else in here an insomniac

**pipes:**

not at all

**electriclove:**

totally not

**seaweedbrain:**

of course not!

**wisegirl:**

no. not at all.

**murderonmymind:**

nope. i don't lay awake until 4am doing homework and watching movies

**beautifulanddeadly:**

i totally don't do that with clarisse

**frankly:**

i sleep. totally. 

**hazeleyes:**

i don't stay up until 4am stressing abt schoolwork. not me. 

**notadonkey:**

and i totally don't stay awake stressing about the environment

**juniperbush:**

same here

**usedtobeatree:**

no i don't stay awake thinking about nothing

**rEyNa:**

i don't stay awake at night

you've got the wrong person

**golden:**

of course not! 

i totally get my eight hours in

**revengeissweet:**

and i totally don't stay awake thinking about a certain someone

couldn't be me

**redhead:**

i totally sleep dw

and ethan, who's this certain someone

**revengeissweet:**

none of your business

**sunshine:**

lemme get this straight

**seaweedbrain:**

that's impossible

ur not straight

how can you get something straight if ur not straight

**sunshine:**

be quiet percy

and why am i the only one who actually sleeps?

**ghostking:**

you say that like you don't get 4 hours of sleep on exam days

**sunshine:**

and you say THAT like you don't pull all nighters on exam days 

**rEyNa:**

i think everyone here pulls all nighters every single exam day

**wisegirl:**

tbh yeah

i would say that college is the reason for my fucked up sleep schedule

but my sleep schedule has been fucked up since highschool maybe even before that :)

**nnseaweedbrain:**

annabeth you need to sleep

**wisegirl:**

says the person who literally sleeps for 5 hours a day

probably less

**sunshine:**

am i the only one who can get 8 hours of sleep on most days?

**deathboy:**

yes

**rEyNa:**

yes

**wisegirl:**

yes

**murderonmymind:**

yes

**beautifulanddeadly:**

absolutely

**frankly:**

100%

**hazeleyes:**

ya

**golden:**

definitely

**revengeissweet:**

of course!

**seaweedbrain:**

yes

**redhead:**

yes

**usedtobeatree:**

yup

**juniperbush:**

yeah

**notadonkey:**

oh for sure

**commandertoolbelt:**

i- yes

**electriclove:**

uh- duh

**pipes:**

i think so yeah

**sunshine:**

i am so concerned for you guys


	2. being forced to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will forces everyone to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh- just to clarify what i meant in the last chapter with ethan and luke dating: they aren't dating yet but they will start dating eventually

**[chaotic bitches]**

**sunshine:**

it's 4am

**ghostking:**

so?

**sunshine:**

why the FUCK are all of you online

**wisegirl:**

why are YOU online then

**sunshine:**

because i woke up in the middle of the night and decided to see if you guys were sleeping

**ghostking:**

i- will

i fucking live with you

i know that that's complete bullshit

you've been up doing homework

**sunshine:**

ok maybe i have

but you all shouldn't be up this late

**golden:**

how hypocritical of you to say that lmaoooo

what happened to "sleep is important"?

**sunshine:**

shut up 

n e ways

sleep

**wisegirl:**

says the person who's sleep schedule is just as fucked up

nico please confirm

**ghostking:**

i can confirm that for the past week, he's been up until 2-4am doing hw

**sunshine:**

stop trying to change the subject to me not sleeping

you guys shouldn't be up rn

why is ethan the only one asleep

**golden:**

he isn't asleep lmaoooo

he's just not online

**sunshine:**

dammit

i thought that maybe someone would actually be sleeping

wait is percy sleeping? he's offline

**wisegirl:**

he fell asleep an hour ago

so still at a bad time, according to you

**sunshine:**

at least he fell asleep

i have a feeling that half of you are planning to pull through on coffee today

**rEyNa:**

i can't say you're wrong

**ghostking:**

same here

**sunshine:**

hhhhhhhh

nico i'm gonna force you to go to sleep

we literally live together in a one room apartment

why the hell do you STILL manage to not sleep 

**ghostking:**

idk lmao

wait shit- 

no don't take my phone and laptop

please will

sunshine?

no-

**frankly:**

did we just witness nico being forcefully disconnected 

**electriclove:**

i think we did

**hazeleyes:**

poor nico

**golden:**

wait a fucking minute

why did i just hear knocking at my door

**redhead:**

wait what

**notadonkey:**

what if it's will lmao

**golden:**

imma go look in the peephole

WHAT

THE

ACTUAL

FUCK

**juniperbush:**

what?

**notadonkey:**

was it actually will-

**golden:**

WILL JUST SHOWED UP ON MY DOORSTEP AT 4AM

TO FORCE ME TO GOT TO SLEEP-

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

**pipes:**

luke you better run

**golden:**

shit ur right

bye guys

**electriclove:**

bye luke

WAIT SHIT

PIPES

DID YOU HEAR THE KNOCK

**pipes:**

DO YOU THINK HE SHOWED UP HERE TOO

I FORGOT THAT WE LIVED NEXT TO LUKE AND ETHAN

OMFG

GOOD NIGHT GUYS

**electriclove:**

wouldn't it be good morning or smth tho

n e ways

BYE GUYS GTG B4 I DIEEEEE

**sunshine:**

ok

so piper, nico, and jason are offline and hopefully asleep

**wisegirl:**

will what the actual fuck

did you really just show up at their doorsteps

WAIT SHIT GN GUYS GTG

**rEyNa:**

will-

y'know what imma leave b4 he shows up at my door

**usedtobeatree:**

yea same

**redhead:**

imma leave too

**commandertoolbelt:**

as much as i don't want to go to sleep, i'm not abt to have will show up here

bye bitches

**juniperbush:**

bye guys! grover and i are gonna go too

**hazeleyes:**

yea imma leave 

byeee

**frankly:**

same here

bye!

**beautifulanddeadly:**

bye guys! imma leave

**murderonmymind:**

same here

i am NOT going to have will show up on my doorstep

**sunshine:**

good

everyone's offline now

good night guys

sweet dreams

**sunshine** changed the groupchat name to **fix your sleep schedules. sleep is important.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	3. congratulations on sleeping ft. who's ethan's crush?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will congratulates them on sleeping ft.hazel remembers that ethan mentioned a crush and chaos ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dunno what to say here so here's a little reminder: you matter, drink water, sleep, and eat

**[fix your sleep schedules. sleep is important]**

_9:32am_

**hazeleyes:**

ok imma change the gc name rq

**hazeleyes** changed the groupchat name to **the insomniacs**

**hazeleyes:**

i ended up getting 5 hours of sleep will

are you proud lmaooo

i'm glad i have a class at 10am today instead of smth earlier

**sunshine:**

yay!

you slept

how abt the rest of you guys tho

**ghostking:**

you forced to sleep and i had a class at 9 today

so i got four hours

but i still got a large iced coffee :)

**commandertoolbelt:**

i have the same class hazel does so i managed to get 5 hours as well

**frankly:**

i have a class at 11 but i couldn't sleep so i just got 5 hours

that more than i usually get

i get like 4 hours on a good day

**electriclove:**

i got 5 and a half i think

y'all woke me up with the notifs bc i forgot to mute the notifs b4 i went to sleep lol

piper's still sleeping since she has one class at 2pm today

**golden:**

me and ethan got around 5 hours like everyone else

**revengeissweet:**

y did u have to tell them FOR me 

**golden:**

ur a lazy shit so you'd probs want me to so i did it b4 u asked :)

**juniperbush:**

grover's still asleep i think

i'm in class rn

**redhead:**

i'm with juniper

**sunshine:**

ok

so most of you got SOME sleep

now i gtg to class so byeeee

_3:23pm_

**hazeleyes:**

wait a fucking minute-

**murderonmymind:**

what

**hazeleyes:**

so i was bored and i was backreading everything

**beautifulanddeadly:**

and?

**hazeleyes:**

HOW DID WE NOT SEE THAT ETHAN HAS A CRUSH ON SOMEONE

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

**wisegirl:**

wait what

lemme backread

**beautifulanddeadly:**

same here

oh my gods

ETHAN

**seaweedbrain:**

@revengeissweet

@revengeissweet

@revengeissweet

@revengeissweet

**revengeissweet:**

what

oh

i never said that 

**revengeissweet** deleted a message

**revengeissweet:**

see?

go and backread

**electriclove:**

you DO realize that we can see when you deleted a message right

**pipes:**

and i ss what you said as soon as you said it lol

_[1 attachment]_

nice try tho

**revengeissweet:**

dammit

ok

maybe i DO have a crush on someone

**golden:**

WhO iS iT

**revengeissweet:**

i-

u rly think i would tell you

**juniperbush:**

oh!

that's why you came to me the other day for "love advice"

**usedtobeatree:**

DSKFJLDJFDJFJD ETHAN

YOU- THE MOST VIOLENT AND ANNOYING SHIT EVER- CAME TO JUNIPER FOR LOVE ADVICE?!!

**notadonkey:**

am i dreaming

what the fuck

**revengeissweet:**

what?

juniper's advice was actually pretty good

**murderonmymind:**

YOU ADMITTED IT-

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ETHAN NAKAMURA

**beautifulanddeadly:**

right?

this does NOT seem like ethan AT ALL

**seaweedbrain:**

lemme get this straight

ethan has a crush on someone

he thought juniper would give good advice

and juniper gave him the advice

and he just admitted that her advice was good

**frankly:**

yup seems about it

**ghostking:**

ethan who do you have a crush on

**revengeissweet:**

like hell i'm telling you!

**sunshine:**

wait- didn't you accidentally tell me last week or smth

**revengeissweet:**

i didn't

**sunshine:**

wait no- 

you did!

i remember who it is

**revengeissweet:**

if you tell them i swear-

you will die

**pipes:**

who is it lol

**electriclove:**

oh piper! hi

**pipes:**

hi

now who's ethan's crush

**sunshine:**

it's ljdkafjdsjafdkjf

hello it's ethan i would like to tell you that i am confiscating will's phone now

**ghostking:**

i forgot that we lived two apartments down from you guys

did you pick our lock tho-

THAT FAST

**revengeissweet:**

yes i did

**golden:**

what the-

when?? did?? you?? even?? leave??

**revengeissweet:**

i left when you blinked

**sunshine:**

jokes on you ethan

i have a laptop

ethan has a crush on ludajfdjkfjkjdfd

hello ethan again

apparently he forgot that i was still in his apartment

i will confiscating his laptop now

**wisegirl:**

who is it lol

**revengeissweet:**

that's for me to know and for you guys to never find out

**notadonkey:**

what if we ask you five questions to narrow it down

**revengeissweet:**

three questions.

you can't ask who it is. 

or what's the first letter of their name. 

or last letter of their name etc.

**frankly:**

deal.

**beautifulanddeadly:**

are they in this gc

**revengeissweet:**

yes

**seaweedbrain:**

so it could be any of us

**pipes:**

is it a guy or girl

**revengeissweet:**

guy

**usedtobeatree:**

so it could be frank, nico, will, percy, luke, leo, jason, or grover if i'm not forgetting anyone

**redhead:**

was he one of the demigods in the prophecy of seven

**wisegirl:**

ooh nice question

**revengeissweet:**

nope

those are your three questions

**rEyNa:**

so it could be nico, will, luke, or grover

that's still very vague

but we said three questions sooooooo

**ghostking:**

time to pull all nighters trying to figure out who ethan's crush is

**sunshine:**

yup

i normally wouldn't do this but-

you can see why lmaooo

**wisegirl:**

i'm gonna run on coffee tmrw lmaooo

shit imma go do this essay 

i forgot that it's due tmrw

byeee

**rEyNa:**

bye!  
  


**usedtobeatree:**

bye annabeth

**redhead:**

byeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if i made leo bisexual O.o


	4. leo comes out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leo and piper are bicons and you cannot change my mind

**[the insomniacs]**

_12:54_

**hazeleyes:**

imma change the gc name again lmaooo

**hazeleyes** change the groupchat name to **ppl who have survived monster attacks**

**hazeleyes:**

i think this is extremely accurate

unless one of y'all dead?

**commandertoolbelt:**

i-

hazel

if we were dead how would we be able to chat in here

**hazeleyes:**

idk lol

**seaweedbrain:**

i read the new gc name and got some bad flashbacks

**electriclove:**

same

**frankly:**

i think everyone can relate except juniper and maybe rachel

**usedtobeatree:**

i got turned into a fucking pine tree bc of monsters 

**pipes:**

i forget that you used to be a pine tree sumtimes

**usedtobeatree:**

my username literally says it i-

**pipes:**

idk how i don't remember

i'm lowkey dumb

**rEyNa:**

i'm highkey dumb

**pipes:**

stop lying

**rEyNa:**

i could say that to you too lmao

**electriclove:**

i'm bored

**seaweedbrain:**

don't you have hw or smth

don't we all have hw or smth

**golden:**

probably yea but imma ignore it for now

**wisegirl:**

mood

except that if i fail imma die at the hands of my parents sooooooooo

**revengeissweet:**

ur mom is athena 

i doubt that there is a way for you to fail at this point

**wisegirl:**

i'm still wondering how we managed to get to college with our dyslexia 

we can barely comprehend words

how are we even in college

**frankly:**

idfk

but i don't mind

mostly

**redhead:**

i'm mortal and don't have dyslexia

but i still wonder how i got to college

and how i made it through the clarion's ladies academy

without throwing myself into a battle with monsters

**juniper:**

wow

very descriptive

**frankly:**

shit i have a class

gtg byee

**hazeleyes:**

oh shit same here

bye

**[ppl who have survived monster attacks]**

_3:32pm_

**notadonkey:**

is it just me or has leo been very quiet today?

**redhead:**

no he's been quiet

@commandertoolbelt

**pipes:**

leo are you okay?

**commandertoolbelt:**

ig i've been a little quiet lol

i'm fine

**electriclove:**

just keep in mind that you can tell us anything

**commandertoolbelt:**

mhm thx

**[ppl who have survived monster attacks]**

_8:02pm_

**commandertoolbelt:**

uh- i have smth to tell you guys

**seaweedbrain:**

what is it?

**rEyNa:**

go on

**commandertoolbelt:**

.. .----. -- / -... .. ... . -..- ..- .- .-.. 

**wisegirl:**

oh it's in morse code

imma go translate that rq

**electriclove:**

i forget that you know morse code sometimes lol

**wisegirl:**

it translates to "i'm bisexual"

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT LEOOOOO

@seaweedbrain @pipes

WE HAVE ANOTHER BICON

**rEyNa:**

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT LEOOOOO

WE STILL AND WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

**pipes:**

YESSS

ANOTHER BICON

**juniperbush:**

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT LEO

WE LOVE YOUUUUUUU  
  
  


**seaweedbrain:**

YES ANOTHER BICON

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT LEO

**usedtobeatree:**

ANOTHER BICON HAS ARRIVED (unfortunately i am not a bicon)

BUT YESSSS CONGRATS LEOOO

**frankly:**

congrats on coming out leooooooooo

**hazeleyes:**

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT

WE LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

**ghostking:**

congrats on coming out leo!

ur still welcome here and will always be welcome here

**sunshine:**

congrats on coming out!

**notadonkey:**

AYY LEO CONGRATS ON COMING OUT

**golden:**

congrats on coming out leo!

**murderonmymind:**

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT LEO

**revengeissweet:**

congrats on coming out leo

**electriclove:**

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT LEO DJLFJDJFDJDF

**redhead:**

congrats on coming out leo!

**beautifulanddeadly:**

CONGRATS ON COMING OUT!!!

I KNOW THIS IS THE THIRD OR FOURTH TIME YOU HEARD THIS BUT WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU HERE

**commandertoolbelt:**

thanks for the support guys!

ilysm <3

tbh i thought at least ONE of you would fucking hate me and kick me out lol

**usedtobeatree:**

i don't think any of us are straight

annabeth, piper, and percy are bi

reyna, me, and silena are lesbian

frank, hazel, jason, and will are pan

nico, ethan, and luke are gay

and grover, juniper, clarisse, and rachel are omni

i think that's everyone lol

**commandertoolbelt:**

nice

**commandertoolbelt** changed the groupchat name to **homosexuals**

**electriclove:**

can we just talk about you coming out in morse code tho

that's such a you thing to do

**wisegirl:**

right?

**seaweedbrain:**

that's the most leo thing ever tbh

**rEyNa:**

facts

**commandertoolbelt:**

ig it IS a me thing to do lolol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but fr. coming out in morse code is the most leo thing to do ever.


	5. the broken microwave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> percy and annabeth's microwave breaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based off of a true story
> 
> oh and they can use phones without attracting monsters

**[homosexuals]**

_8:21pm_

**seaweedbrain:**

is anyone interested in a storytime

**murderonmymind:**

what did you do this time?

**electriclove:**

lemme get my popcorn bc this is probably gonna be a rollercoaster of events

**commandertoolbelt:**

oh yea lemme get mine too then continue

**rEyNa:**

i just ate but now that you mention popcorn, i'm hungry again

fuck you all

**commandertoolbelt:**

oh whatever

go get popcorn then

**wisegirl:**

are you going to be talking about the microwave?

**seaweedbrain:**

yes actually

**usedtobeatree:**

i'm sorry-

**golden:**

a microwave?

**seaweedbrain:**

so somehow, i broke the microwave in our apartment

**redhead:**

annabeth, how exactly did he do this?

**wisegirl:**

neither of us know tbh

he couldn't open the microwave when he was preparing lunch

but it was working this morning lmaooo

**seaweedbrain:**

we got an apartment without a microwave so we had to bring our own

and we had a countertop microwave that had the pushout button thingy

**juniperbush:**

oh grover and i have that type of microwave too

**wisegirl:**

so percy tried to push the button to open the microwave door, but the button thing wasn't working

if you have that type of microwave, you'll know what i'm talking abt

inside of the microwave, there's a button thing that when you push, it opens the door

**commandertoolbelt:**

oh yea

it's the thing that's kinda like a spring but not really if you know what i'm saying

**revengeissweet:**

you mean the kind with the button that you push in that's like pushing a spring and it opens the microwave door?

**seaweedbrain:**

ya

that's a good description

anyways, the spring thing had collapsed or smth inside of the microwave

**wisegirl:**

i just realized that we could've asked leo to fix it for us

GODDAMMIT 

**seaweedbrain:**

OMFG

WE COULD'VE SAVED SO MUCH TIME

**commandertoolbelt:**

NOW you realize that you could've asked me to fix the spring thingy?

lmaooo

**wisegirl:**

n e ways

so the spring collapsed or smth and he couldn't open the microwave

so went to walmart to go buy another one

**seaweedbrain:**

annabeth was picky and wanted a white microwave with 1200 watts or smth

walmart had one but it was way too big

even I could see that

**ghostking:**

wow it must've been huge then

**seaweedbrain:**

oh shut up nico

**wisegirl:**

so we went to target and there wasn't a white microwave

we were abt to give up so we picked out a stainless steel one and went to go ask the store to hold it

we were tired and wanted to go home already so we didn't want to carry the microwave into the apt and stuff

we were gonna do it tmrw

but then i was feeling impatient and didn't want to wait in line

oh and i was otp with thalia

**usedtobeatree:**

oh here comes the good part

**wisegirl:**

so we decide to just not buy/hold the microwave right?

i go to the bathroom and i'm still otp with thalia

when i get out i called out her name and she doesn't answer

**usedtobeatree:**

my bad lol

**seaweedbrain:**

annabeth thought she lost her phone bc thalia wouldn't answer

so she asked me if she was on her phone at all while we were in target

i panicked bc she was using THAT voice and said idk

she got mad at me for not paying attention and we're arguing abt it while going to the car to find her phone

**usedtobeatree:**

then i finally answer bc i finally HEARD her and she gets mad at me

for not answering

etc

sobs

**wisegirl:**

anyways, we go to best buy next

i was getting hungry and i didn't bring anything except water bc i thought we were just gonna go to walmart then go home

best buy didn't have the right microwave that i wanted

it was white but only had 1000 watts or smth

i was abt to buy a bag of chips or smth but then didn't bc the line was too long

**notadonkey:**

annabeth, how impatient ARE you omfg

**wisegirl:**

i wasn't feeling great today bc of my one and only class with the worst teacher ever

so i have an excuse

i think

**seaweedbrain:**

the employee told us that we could go to lowe's to get a microwave

that's where we went

there was a perfect microwave and we bought it right?

she also bought a bag of chips here lol

anyways, we load it into the car and into our apartment building and she's opened it

**pipes:**

is there a big plot twist here

**wisegirl:**

yes

i open the box and the glass dish thing is broken

so we're going to go to lowe's tmrw and exchange it for another one

a different lowe's tho

**redhead:**

that is what you call a rollercoaster of events

**hazeleyes:**

fr it was like one of those action/drama stories lmaooo

**frankly:**

right?

**sunshine:**

that was the most dramatic thing i've read in a while-

**beautifulanddeadly:**

w o w

this happened today?

**wisegirl:**

yup

and we have to go exchange the damn microwave tmrw

**usedtobeatree:**

you mean the dam microwave

**seaweedbrain:**

^^

**notadonkey:**

^^^

**wisegirl:**

what if i said no?

**notadonkey:**

we'd be disappointed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said microwave so many times, microwave doesn't even look or sound like a word anymore-
> 
> oh and how tf do you end chapters? like wtf it's so hard


	6. nico's gay panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nico gay panics and hazel adds him to a gay panic support groupchat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got this idea in the middle of the night and had to wait until morning to write it :)

**[hazeleyes]**

_2:23am_

**ghostking:**

fdfajdjfdkfjdkfjkdjf

**hazeleyes:**

is my brother gay panicking *gasp*

what did will do to make you do this

**ghostking:**

he fell asleep kjdjafdjjfdlfd

in my lap fjsdjfdjfldf

and it's the most adorable thing i've ever seen djlfjdkjfdjfjdjfd

please help me ljfdjjdkjfdkjfdjfkd

**hazeleyes:**

lemme add u to this gc rq

**[gay panic support group]**

_2:25am_

**hazeleyes** removed **sunshine** from the groupchat

**usedtobeatree:**

did you just kick will lmaoooo

**hazeleyes:**

yea bc imma add nico in a few secs

he's gay panicking rn over will lmaoooo

**hazeleyes** added **ghostking** to the groupchat

**ghostking:**

you have a whole groupchat for gay panics i-

**usedtobeatree:**

welcome

it's only me, hazel, silena, will, juniper, reyna, rachel, and frank

but hazel just removed will so you can gay panic in peace

**beautifulanddeadly:**

wait what

HAZEL LMAOOOOO

YOU REALLY JUST KICKED WILL LIKE THAT

**hazeleyes:**

how is my brother supposed to gay panic in peace if his boyfriend is in here-

of course i kicked him

anyway you can gay panic now :)

**ghostking:**

oh my gods will just fell asleep in my lap dajfdjfkjdfldf

he looks so fucking cute i feel like imma spontaneously combust jfldjfjdjlfjdjfdj

dajlkdjkfjdkjlkfdhsfhdjsf

fjshafhdhlfhdljlajljfiorqtiornwonnn

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**frankly:**

w o w

t h a t i s s o m e h a r d c o r e g a y p a n i c

**beautifulanddeadly:**

has he ever gay panicked this hard hazel?

**hazeleyes:**

i don't think so lolol

it's 2:30am aka the time of the gay panics

they always come at night

**ghostking:**

jfkjadfjkdjfjdsfdfjdkjfdfdjfkdj

halfdjakjfkdljsafljdljfjdjafd

dhahdlsajfjdkjfldjljf

**usedtobeatree:**

this gay panic that you're having is what i feel on a daily basis

i just keep it in better

**rEyNa:**

aww you gay panic abt me?

**usedtobeatree:**

shit forgot you were in here

**usedtobeatree** deleted a message

**usedtobeatree:**

you saw nothing

**juniperbush:**

well, nico, is all of the gay panic out?

**ghostking:**

most of it

i think

i hope

**redhead:**

imma ss this so i can have blackmail on you lmaooo

**ghostking:**

idc rn

keyword: rn

i might care tmrw tho

whatever

i'm tired

bye ppl

**ghostking** left the groupchat

 **hazeleyes** added **sunshine** to the groupchat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to fic writers (especially chat fic writers): am i the only one who writes the chapter b4 titling and summarizing the chapter bc if i title and summarize it first, i end up changing it bc the chapter turned out way differently than planned?


	7. coffee, class, and pronouns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the pronouns part was based off of a true story. but no i'm not in uni. i'm not even in highschool lmaoooo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just smth you should know: there is a bus stop 1 minute away from the campus entrance and that's the only bus stop that is near the campus. the other stops are at least 10-15 mins away.
> 
> oh and leo and rachel live together bc they can't afford the one room apartments by themselves. and leo doesn't have anyone to live with and neither does rachel.
> 
> oh, and i kinda want coffee now. but we don't have any in the house and i'm not risking catching ms. rona just to go to starbucks or smth.

**[homosexuals]**

_8:43am_

**commandertoolbelt:**

i want coffee

but i have class in ten minutes 

**usedtobeatree:**

can't you just get coffee on the way to campus?

**commandertoolbelt:**

normally, that's what i'd do

BUT those days, i usually have class in 20 minutes instead of 10

and unfortunately, the class i have in 8 minutes is the one that farthest from the bus stop

**ghostking:**

wait ur talking abt the bus stop infront of the school right

**commandertoolbelt:**

ya

and the class i have in a few minutes is at the very back of the campus

so i don't have time to get my coffee

i'm currently mad at my alarm clock

**redhead:**

no it rang on time.

you put it so loud that i could hear it from MY room.

you just slapped the snooze button too much

**sunshine:**

i always forget that since leo and rachel live together 

**seaweedbrain:**

same

**pipes:**

hey annabeth do you want me to get you a coffee since we have class together

**wisegirl:**

yeah ty!!

just get an iced coffee

**pipes:**

ok! small, medium, or large?

**wisegirl:**

medium

i would normally get large but i'm feeling energized for no reason today

**seaweedbrain:**

eh you did fall asleep a little earlier than usual

that's probably why lmaoooo

**sunshine:**

coffee's bad for you

**wisegirl:**

i know

and i don't care

**sunshine:**

you also need to sleep

**pipes:**

i know

and i don't care

**sunshine:**

you guys are hopeless

oh leo

are you in class

**commandertoolbelt:**

yeah

normally, i would text you guys during class but she's going way too fast with the slideshows today so byeeeee

**rEyNa:**

bitch focus

anyways i need coffee so imma go 

**golden:**

lol bye reyna

does anyone have a class with me today?

**juniperbush:**

i think i do

**golden:**

do you want coffee?

**juniperbush:**

no i'm good i already bought mine 

thanks for offering though!

**golden:**

oh ok

np

**revengeissweet:**

you don't have a class until 9:30 right

**golden:**

yea why?

**revengeissweet:**

can you get me a coffee then

**golden:**

i- okay

what's ur order tho

**revengeissweet:**

u should know it by now dumbasss

you've seen me order it so many times

it's a large iced coffee

it's literally so basic and there's nothing special about it i-

**golden:**

wow i rly am dumb

well if i don't wanna be late to class, imma go get the coffee now so i have time to go back to the apartment then go to the campus

**electriclove:**

wow that's a long text

anyways i haven't said anything but i gtg now lmaooooo

byeeee

**[homosexuals]**

_12:01pm_

**nutella:**

how was everyone's day?

**usedtobeatree:**

wait who's this?

**nutella:**

oh i forgot to tell you guys that i changed my username

it's hazel lmaoooo

**usedtobeatree:**

oh! hi hazel

my day so far was okay

there was this one homophobic bitch in my class that kept wHiSpErInG about me 

**nutella:**

bark at her :)

**usedtobeatree:**

i might actually do that-

**nutella:**

i was joking

sort of

half joking lmaooo

**usedtobeatree:**

oh i got assigned a project to so imma go try to do that in one day :)

**sunshine:**

that is NOT healthy

**usedtobeatree:**

oh well :)

imma do it anyway

byeee

**[homosexuals]**

_7:56pm_

**commandertoolbelt:**

bruh-

there was this guy in my class that genuinely asked what were pronouns

i'm sobbing

**golden:**

i- 

he genuinely didn't know?

**frankly:**

i was about to scream when he asked

**notadonkey:**

same

like- p r o n o u n s 

p r o n o u n s

**revengeissweet:**

bruh why

you should know this

y o u s h o u l d k n o w t h i s

**wisegirl:**

right?

i literally have a shirt that says "ask me about my pronouns"

**seaweedbrain:**

i got that for you

**wisegirl:**

yeah you did lmao

**pipes:**

i actually have a cropped long sleeve shirt that says "queer all year"

i got it in highschool and my dad still didn't realize i wasn't straight

**electriclove:**

bRuH

**pipes:**

it was gray with 6 hearts on each arm and the words were in rainbow

**ghostking:**

oh oh oh was it in hot topic

**pipes:**

yeah lmaoooo

**ghostking:**

i have a crippling addiction to hot topic

**sunshine:**

i can confirm this 

everytime we go to the mall, he somehow gets away from me and spends half of the time in hot topic

**rEyNa:**

everytime i see something pride themed in there, i have to remind myself that i'm a broke college student who can't afford it :)

**redhead:**

LITERALLY ME

**juniperbush:**

^^

but the band t-shirts are what REALLY tempt me

**commandertoolbelt:**

oh i didn't know you listened to that type of stuff

but yeah i REALLY have to remember that i'm broke and can barely afford paying rent even with rachel helping

**redhead:**

right? 

it doesn't matter that the apartments we live in are cheap

we can barely afford it

**nutella:**

college is a scam smh

we have classes, homework, AND jobs

then we have to worry about money

**frankly:**

right?

c o l l e g e i s a s c a m

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i notice that i post a lot. oof. watch me just stop posting for a whole month or smth lmaoooo.
> 
> gimme someone you ship leo with. i need ideas.
> 
> what if i self-inserted O.o


	8. ethan's crush is discovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reyna discover's ethan's crush and she tells everyone except luke :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't wait to write the shovel talk lmaoooo that might be a long time from now tho idk

**[homosexuals]**

_12:58am_

**rEyNa:**

oh my gods

i think i know who ethan's crush is

**seaweedbrain:**

WHAT

**revengeissweet:**

shit

**rEyNa** created a groupchat

 **rEyNa** named the groupchat **ethan's crush**

 **rEyNa** added **pipes** , **usedtobeatree** , **seaweedbrain** , **wisegirl** , **revengeissweet** , **electiclove** , **commandertoolbelt** , **murderonmymind** , **notadonkey** , **juniperbush** ,

 **beautifulanddeadly** , **redhead** , **nutella** , **frankly** , **sunshine** , and **ghostking**

**usedtobeatree:**

rey, who is it

**wisegirl:**

aww reyna

thalia calls you rey?

that's cuteeeee

**rEyNa:**

this ain't abt me it's abt ethan

**revengeissweet:**

just get it over with and tell me who it is so i can admit it and go sob in embarrassment

**commandertoolbelt:**

mood

n e ways who is it

**rEyNa:**

it's luke

**electriclove:**

who were we guessing from?

**pipes:**

luke, grover, nico, and will i think

**rEyNa:**

yeah and it's luke

**revengeissweet:**

ok one, ur right it IS luke

two, why did you think it was luke

**rEyNa:**

you've spoken to grover like, once

you don't talk to will often

you talk to nico MORE but still not a lot

so process of elimination. i think you learn this in elementary school

**revengeissweet:**

ok valid reasoning

i guess

but you tell him istg

**seaweedbrain:**

i won't

**wisegirl:**

i'll physically restrain percy from doing so

**redhead:**

i won't

and i'll restrain leo if i have to

**commandertoolbelt:**

hey! i'm not as bad as percy

**seaweedbrain:**

wow rude much?

**usedtobeatree:**

you know it's true smh

i won't tell

**rEyNa:**

i'll make sure she doesn't

i won't tell either

**juniperbush:**

i'll restrain grover from trying

i won't tell either tho

**sunshine:**

i'll keep my mouth shut

i'll keep nico's shut too

**ghostking:**

ooh kinky

**sunshine:**

shut up

**electriclove:**

i won't 

i think

**pipes:**

i won't

i hope

**revengeissweet:**

wow very reassuring

**beautifulanddeadly:**

i won't

i'll restrain clarisse too

**nutella:**

frank and i won't tell

**frankly:**

what if i do?

it'll be on you lmaooo

**revengeissweet:**

well i'm going to l e a v e

so bye

**revengeissweet** has ended the groupchat

**[wisegirl]**

**wisegirl:**

ok thalia, assuming that ethan will ever confess, when he does, will we shovel talk him

**usedtobeatree:**

ofc we will

**wisegirl:**

i wonder if ethan has any friends that would shovel talk luke tho lmaooo

i think the closest person i can think of is nico? idk

or maybe clarisse

**usedtobeatree:**

maybe yeah

i feel like clarisse would do it

**wisegirl:**

or maybe we're completely off-track and juniper would be the one shovel talking

**usedtobeatree:**

juniper's quiet

that makes her perfect for shovel talking bc quiet ppl are the scariest when shovel talking

**wisegirl:**

yeah accurate lmaooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please give me someone you ship leo with-


	9. leo meets a cute barista, embarrasses himself, and ethan's a switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh- the ethan part wasn't even meant to appear but oh well lmaoooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brandon is my oc :) he's a hermes kid

**[homosexuals]**

_3:32pm_

**commandertoolbelt:**

OH MY GPDS

GODS

DJLFJLDKAFHDSKFLJDLKSFL

**redhead:**

what

**commandertoolbelt:**

okay so i'm at that new coffee shop that opened up near the campus trying to do my homework

**juniperbush:**

oh i've been there before!

it's really nice and cozy there

**commandertoolbelt:**

i just ordered my coffee and the barista who was taking my order was so fucking cute-

i'm gonna explode :)

**sunshine:**

it's 3:30 in the afternoon

why are you getting coffee

**rEyNa:**

it's actually 3:32 in the afternoon but pop off ig

**sunshine:**

THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER

THAT ACTUALLY MAKES IT WORSE

**ghostking:**

wait so i'm NOT supposed to get my coffee rn?

i got my coffee

a large caramel macchiato btw :)

**sunshine:**

NICO

YOU LITERALLY LIVE WITH ME

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER

YOU ARE LITERALLY LIVING WITH A MED STUDENT

YOU LITERALLY HAVE A MED STUDENT B O Y F R I E N D

**ghostking:**

whatever lmao

can we get back to leo before he spontaneously combusts tho

**sunshine:**

oh i forgot abt him

should we add him to the gay panic gc

**wisegirl:**

wait is it a gay panic or straight panic lol

**seaweedbrain:**

probably a gay panic

**commandertoolbelt:**

it's a gay panic

**nutella:**

ok hold on just a sec and i'll add you to this other gc

**[gay panic support group]**

_3:38pm_

**nutella** added **commandertoolbelt**

**nutella:**

welcome leo

**usedtobeatree:**

gay panic all you want in here

**rEyNa:**

let it out

**wisegirl:**

you'll feel better after

**commandertoolbelt:**

o kayyyy

OH MY GODS

OH MY GODS

OH MY GODS

HE'S SO CUTE OMG

HE'S LITERALLY PERFECT

I'M NOT KIDDING

HE IS PERFECT

ALKFJDSAJFLDJSAF

HE JUST SMILED

NOT AT ME

BUT STILL

**frankly:**

ahhh this is refreshing

we haven't gotten this type of gay panic in a while

**beautifulanddeadly:**

right?

**sunshine:**

i have a feeling ur not done

let it all out

**commandertoolbelt:**

OH MY GODS

OH MY GODS

HE'S COMING OVER HERE

WHAT DO I DO

WHAT DO I SAY

DO I LOOK OKAY

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK  
  


**juniperbush:**

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT

**commandertoolbelt:**

please don't freak out

i'm already freaking out

aljfldjafljldfjldjf

**nutella:**

act natural

just make small talk or smth!

**commandertoolbelt:**

WHAT IS NATURAL

HE'S ALMOST OVER HERE

FLDJFLKJDLKJFLKDJFL

HOLD ON

**wisegirl:**

am i the only one lowkey panicking rn

**rEyNa:**

nope

**usedtobeatree:**

nope

i'm scared af rn lmaooo

**commandertoolbelt:**

i hate it here :)

someone please shoot me

**nutella:**

oh gods what happened

**commandertoolbelt:**

okay so i'm guessing he was on his break or smth

bc he took off his apron (he also looked rly hot without his apron on)

and he sat down across from me

and said hi

and i made this squeaking sound

lajfdkajfldjalfjdlkfjdljafl

i hate it here :)

**juniperbush:**

that's not TOO bad

i have a feeling there's more

**commandertoolbelt:**

well ur right!

he asked what my name was

and i made this squeaking sound AGAIN

and i said "i'm leo and i think ur hot"

**usedtobeatree:**

LEO

I'M LITERALLY SOBBING RN

DJFLKDJSKFJDSLFJLDJFL

**commandertoolbelt:**

wait there's more

apparently, he's like percy aka he has a big ego

and was like "i know i am. but you are too, leo"

and i literally sat there gaping at him like a goldfish or smth

then his break was over or smth and he said "i'm brandon, wait here until my shift's over so we can get to know each other"

then left

**sunshine:**

oop-

isn't there a hermes kid named brandon?

**commandertoolbelt:**

WHAT

SO HE COULD BE A DEMIGOD

FLKDSJFJDSFJLDFJLDJFLD

**usedtobeatree:**

can we just talk about how you literally called him hot

**commandertoolbelt:**

SHUT UP THALIA

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT

**beautifulanddeadly:**

out of all things you could've said 😭😭😭

**nutella:**

right?

i'm sobbing

**frankly:**

i'm literally in class right now

and i'm trying not to cry

**nutella:**

pay attention

**frankly:**

i don't need to lmao

this is the third time she's done this lecture

**rEyNa:**

oh okay

nice

i hate professors who do that :)

anyway LEO 

**commandertoolbelt:**

please don't talk abt it again

i'm already dying from embarrassment

**rEyNa:**

i taught you better smh

why would you say that 😭😭😭

i'm telling the main gc lmaoo

**commandertoolbelt:**

NO

PERCY WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABT IT

**sunshine:**

eh still telling them

**commandertoolbelt** left the groupchat

**[homosexuals]**

_3:46pm_

**commandertoolbelt:**

hello 

**seaweedbrain:**

smth happened

ik it

**wisegirl:**

the cute barista guy might be a demigod

his name is brandon

**seaweedbrain:**

OH YOU MEAN THE GUY FROM THE HERMES CABIN

he's cute

**wisegirl:**

percy.

**seaweedbrain:**

in a completely platonic way i promise

**rEyNa:**

anyway leo do you wanna do the honors of telling them

or do you want me to do it

**commandertoolbelt:**

i'll do it

**electriclove:**

lemme get my popcorn rq

**pipes:**

ooh share with me

**electriclove:**

okay lmaooo

**murderonmymind:**

same here

**revengeissweet:**

i've had my popcorn ready ages ago 

**golden:**

and i'm stealing ethan's :)

**revengeissweet:**

bitch get ur musty crusty dusty hands off of my buttery heaven

**golden:**

you say that but ur literally curled up into my side

**usedtobeatree:**

👀

wait a fucking minute

leo, wait a minute ok

**commandertoolbelt:**

ok

come back quick tho

i want to get it over with quickly

**[revengeissweet]**

_3:51pm_

**usedtobeatree:**

ETHAN

ETHAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER

**revengeissweet:**

what

**usedtobeatree:**

DID YOU CONFESS

**revengeissweet:**

nope 😌💅

**usedtobeatree:**

dammit

but you do be cuddling with him tho

**revengeissweet:**

eh he's a comfy pillow and i'm a bottom so 🤷‍♂️

**usedtobeatree:**

WAIT A MINUTE

ETHAN

YOU'RE A BOTTOM

AND YOU USED EMOJIS

**revengeissweet:**

it's a pain in the ass to copy and paste the emojis from a website tho

but yes i am a bottom

sort of

i'm a switch

but i bottom if it comes to luke

even tho i've never been fucked by him :)

emoticons are so much better but they can't express everything

**usedtobeatree:**

facts

now let's go back to the main chat so you can here leo's juicy story

**[homosexuals]**

_3:54pm_

**usedtobeatree:**

okay i'm back

please start your amazing story, leo

**commandertoolbelt:**

so i met the cute barista guy (y'all know this)

his name is brandon (y'all also know this)

but basically he came over and he asked for my name and i made a squeaking sound

then he asked for my name and i said "i'm leo and i think ur hot"

**seaweedbrain:**

LEO

LEO YOU DIDN'T

I'M CRYING

I'M LITERALLY IN TEARS RN

**wisegirl:**

i can confirm

**commandertoolbelt:**

shut up.

then he asked me to stay until he's done with his shift so i'm pretending to do homework right now.

i actually need to do homework so bye bitches 😋

**murderonmymind:**

that was entertaining

**rEyNa:**

it's funnier when he's actually gay panicking

hold on imma send screenshots of the texts

_[6 attachments]_

**seaweedbrain:**

i'm literslly sobbinf rn

**wisegirl:**

tears are streaming down his face and he's rolling around on the floor

**pipes:**

THIS BITCH-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD TO REWRITE HALF OF THIS CHAPTER BC I ACCIDENTALLY CLOSED THE TAB AND IT ERASED EVERYTHING  
> it was also a pain in the ass to copy and paste the emojis


	10. usernames ft. bullying percy and jason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they talk abt usernames. oh and they bully percy and jason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had writer's block sobs. here, take this. sorry if it's short lol.

**[homosexuals]**

_2:47pm_

**commandertoolbelt:**

ok i'm curious

what's the history behind everyone's usernames/screen names?

**electriclove:**

well jupiter/zeus is the god of lightning

i'm his son, and i can sort of summon lightning

that made me think of "lightning in a bottle"

which made me think of electric love

**rEyNa:**

nice

mine's just my name but cHaOtIc ig? idk lmao

**commandertoolbelt:**

mine's just a nickname from my quest with jason and piper

**seaweedbrain:**

mine's is literally what annabeth's nickname for me is

**wisegirl:**

mine is percy's nickname for me

**pipes:**

mAtChInG uSeRnAmEs

anyways, mine's is a nickname that jason, my dad, AND leo call me by :)

**electriclove:**

you love it

**pipes:**

and what if i don't

**electriclove:**

i'll make you love it

**nutella:**

gross pda in the chat

the first one was hazeleyes which was based off my name

this one is sorta based off my name. hazel -> hazelnut -> nutella

**usedtobeatree:**

i have an addiction to nutella lmao

anygays, mine is literally just my past :,)

**wisegirl:**

i can confirm

**golden:**

tbh i don't know why i made my username "golden"

i just did :D

**revengeissweet:**

it's probably because you think ur the golden boy

**seaweedbrain:**

excuse me? i'm the golden boy

**electriclove:**

no i am. even my hair agrees.

**wisegirl:**

piper, who has the bigger ego.

**pipes:**

idfk at this point. i used to think it was percy but jason's getting worse

**wisegirl:**

true tbh

**revengeissweet:**

n e ways

mine is based off of my mom

d u h

**commandertoolbelt:**

tell me why i just thought of billie eilish when you said duh

**revengeissweet:**

how am i supposed to know-

**frankly:**

mine's just based off of a pun tbh

i should change it soon

**notadonkey:**

mine's based off of percy calling me half donkey when he was twelve and we were at yancy

**seaweedbrain:**

i said sorry!

and don't bring up yancy

it makes me think of nancy bobofit

bitch ass hoe

**wisegirl:**

LANGUAGE

**seaweedbrain:**

yeah you TOTALLY didn't cuss out someone who cut in front of my car while i was driving

**wisegirl:**

i didn't!

**notadonkey:**

you did.

i was in the car with you

**juniperbush:**

so was i

and my username is based off of the plant i'm named after

**wisegirl:**

whatever smh

believe what you want

**ghostking:**

mine's based off of the time i defeated minos

**sunshine:**

mine's what nico calls me

**commandertoolbelt:**

ok so will, annabeth, percy, and piper have nicknames as their usernames

**murderonmymind:**

anyways

mine's based off of the fact that i'm in the ares cabin and i think abt fighting/murder too much 

simple

even percy would get it 

**seaweedbrain:**

i-

sobs

**wisegirl:**

you'd probably accidentally flood the campus if you cried because the ocean would respond to your emotions

**seaweedbrain:**

is today bully percy day-

also argus is the one who floods when he cries

not me

**beautifulanddeadly:**

n e ways

mine's kinda self explanatory idk

i'm in the aphrodite cabin (hence beautiful ig?) and deadly bc i can fight

**redhead:**

mine's ALSO self-explanatory

i'm a redhead

simple

**commandertoolbelt:**

was that everyone

**golden:**

i think so yeah

**commandertoolbelt:**

nice

**seaweedbrain:**

who's were you most curious abt?

**commandertoolbelt:**

i think i was most curious abt luke's and grover's

**notadonkey:**

at this point, it's just an inside joke tbh

**seaweedbrain:**

are you still salty abt that tho

**notadonkey:**

not rn but if you call me a donkey AGAIN i will be

**pipes:**

oop-

t e a

**wisegirl:**

this tea cold asf tho

this happened when percy was t w e l v e

t w e l v e

**notadonkey:**

tbh i though he had a big ego then, but it has definitely grown

**wisegirl:**

right?

**seaweedbrain:**

this is slander sobs

i don't deserve this

cries

**murderonmymind:**

this is hilarious

almost as funny as when i shoved your head into the toilet your first day at chb

**seaweedbrain:**

may i remind you that i exploded the toilets and doused you in toilet water?

**murderonmymind:**

you also doused ANNABETH in toilet water as well

**ghostking:**

oop-

this might be cold ass tea but it's still piping hot for meeeeee

**pipes:**

^^^

**sunshine:**

you guys are ridiculous smh

how do i even deal with y'all

**ghostking:**

you just do hon

you just do

**electriclove:**

no pda in the gc b i t c h

**nutella:**

jason-

backread

**electriclove:**

why

**frankly:**

you and piper also were doing pda in the chat

hypocrite

**electriclove:**

i-

okay

**pipes:**

i still wanna bully percy

**seaweedbrain:**

PIPER!

**pipes:**

it's fun

ur very easy to bully

**wisegirl:**

right?

**ghostking:**

facts

**seaweedbrain:**

i'm offended

sobs

**electriclove:**

it's just ridiculously easy to bully you and your ego

**seaweedbrain:**

uh uh shut up jason

you know for a FACT that ur ego's just as bad

**murderonmymind:**

ouch

**electriclove:**

okay i'll admit that my ego is fairly big (and piper is making it worse)

**pipes:**

i-

wow targeting me now?

**wisegirl:**

you know he's not necessarily wrong right

**pipes:**

yeah i know

i feed his ego everyday

i am aware of this.

**rEyNa:**

oop- don't inflate his ego too much tho

**usedtobeatree:**

he might beat percy one day if piper keeps feeding it

**electriclove:**

we are being bullied

**seaweedbrain:**

sobs

we are

cries

**revengeissweet:**

imagine having that big of an ego

couldn't be me

could be luke tho

**golden:**

i-

at least my ego is still fairly small compared to percy and jason!

**electriclove:**

heart been broke so many times i don't know what to believeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**seaweedbrain:**

mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all comments, kudos, and hits are appreciated!


	11. self-cannibalism ft. will being a mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is swallowing the skin/nail pieces that you bite self-cannibalism? oh and will nagging them to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been unmotivated with 3 ongoing fics :,D

**[homosexuals]**

_3:01am_

**commandertoolbelt:**

okay, i have a serious question

**ghostking:**

oh no

**commandertoolbelt:**

HEY! 

r00d

**wisegirl:**

let's just get this over with

what is it

**commandertoolbelt:**

if you bite your nails/the skin around your nails and you swallow it the bits, are you being a self-cannibal?

**electriclove:**

wait- 

you have a point

**seaweedbrain:**

i say yes bc ur technically eating urself if u swallow the skin/nail

**wisegirl:**

i say no bc the skin cells are dead at the top so ur technically not eating a living part of ur body

**pipes:**

but those cells were once alive tho

**wisegirl:**

PIPER! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE SOBS

**pipes:**

i'm sorry but i'm just saying! the cells were once alive!

**redhead:**

but they're dead now so technically ur not eating urself!

**rEyNa:**

i was having a great day then leo said this shit-

fuck you leo.

**commandertoolbelt:**

HEY!

R E Y N A B E N I C E T O M E

**rEyNa:**

no ❤️

**notadonkey:**

REYNA USED AN EMOJI

W O T

**juniperbush:**

why are you so surprised lmao

**usedtobeatree:**

she uses emojis when she texts me all the time!

**sunshine:**

that's bc ur her gf tho!

**usedbeatree:**

w h a t e v e r

anyways, i think that you are a self-cannibal

**nutella:**

eh i think you aren't

the skin/nail cells are dead so you wouldn't be eating a living part of ur body and cannibalism is eating a living part of ur/sum1's body right?

**frankly:**

idk lmao it could be either depending of how you look at it tbh

**beautifulanddeadly:**

i think it's self-cannibalism tbh

ur eating urself whether the cells are dead or not

**murderonmymind:**

^^ yeah

**wisegirl:**

at this point, i'm starting to question if y'all are right smh

**electriclove:**

GASP

WE HAVE PULLED ANNABETH

**commandertoolbelt:**

y'all still techincally haven't answered my question. 

i think it's self-cannibalism tho

at least, a small part of me thinks that and the other parts of me think otherwise.

**sunshine:**

i just realized it's 3 in the morning

why are y'all not asleep

**ghostking:**

why are YOU not asleep?

**sunshine:**

do you guys want me to repeat the showing-up-on-your-doorstep thing

**murderonmymind:**

oh bitch hell nah i'm leaving

**juniperbush:**

same

**commandertoolbelt:**

eh i'm not scared of you

**ghostking:**

i'll physically restrain him from leaving the apartment

**seaweedbrain:**

i'd say that you're too tiny but i've felt your strength firsthand

**nutella:**

lmao same

**ghostking:**

HAZEL!

**nutella:**

lmao sorry

**frankly:**

i- pop off ig but i'm gonna go do the rest of my essay :)

**sunshine:**

that's not sleeping-

**frankly:**

would you rather i fail AND lose sleep?

**wisegirl:**

oop-

imma go finish this presentation tho

**beautifulanddeadly:**

i wish we could have chiron teach us stuff again so wouldn't have to stay up and stuff

**usedtobeatree:**

right?

i'm tired tho

imma just finish this question sheet tmrw

**rEyNa:**

eh i'm staying up to finish it

**sunshine:**

i-

and i thought that my sleep schedule would be the most fucked up since i'm a med student

**electriclove:**

well, ur wrong buddy

**pipes:**

i function solely on coffee. and cookies. but mostly coffee.

**sunshine:**

that isn't healthy-

**seaweedbrain:**

we really don't care at this point tbh

**ghostking:**

yeah

i literally get a large white chocolate mocha every single day

if i get a tiny bit of sleep, i get a medium white chocolate mocha

**sunshine:**

i still don't understand how you manage to drink so much coffee while you live with me

**ghostking:**

idk but i'm glad lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take this short chapter


	12. luke gay panics ft. a new gc is born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luke gay panics and silena makes a new groupchat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing block has been hitting me in the face lately. it's not very good when you have three different ongoing fics. (one is on insta lmao)

**[homosexuals]**

_8:34pm_

**golden:**

jalkdjfjdljfdajldjlajf

**wisegirl:**

gay panic?

**golden:**

yeah

**usedtobeatree:**

gay panic gc. now.

**[gay panic support group]**

_8:35pm_

**nutella:**

welcome to the gay panic groupchat

**rEyNa:**

you can gay panic all you want in here. we don't judge.

**notadonkey:**

let it all out before you spontaneously combust.

**sunshine:**

no matter how many times i've seen that intro, it's still lowkey creepy to me

**wisegirl:**

lmao why? 

you've done it too 

**sunshine:**

i-

yeah-

but still!

**beautifulanddeadly:**

can y'all just let the poor guy gay panic before he blows up-

**frankly:**

what silena said-

**wisegirl:**

i- yeah. go on. gay panic.

**golden:**

hufheafhdhfjdjffld

okay, so ethan and i were watching a movie

**redhead:**

OH MY GODS

YOU'RE GAY PANICKING OVER E T H A N ?!!!

**juniperbush:**

rachel, i mean this in the nicest way possible, BUT SHUT UP

**redhead:**

r00d

**notadonkey:**

GUYS SHUT UP OMFG

please continue

**golden:**

uhhhh

n e ways

SO! ETHAND JSUT FELL ASLEEP

aND MY HEART IS ABT TO EXPLSIDSE

HE LOOKS SO CUET DJFJDKJFD

i literally don't understand how he isn't waking up from how fast (and loud) my heart is beating smh

he's lying on top of it too ajfdkjdjskfld

**rEyNa:**

this isn't as bad as the other gay panics have been tbh

luke, ur doing a good job of holding it together

**golden:**

uh- thank you?

I WANNA RUN MY HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SO BAD OMFG

IT LOOKS SOFT AS HELL

**notadonkey:**

you should do it

**beautifulanddeadly:**

yeah you should

**golden:**

imagine thinking i'm confident enough to do that smh

**usedtobeatree:**

i-

**redhead:**

i-

**juniperbush:**

i-

**nutella:**

did you really just say that- 

**golden:**

yes i did

why?

**sunshine:**

that statement sort of contradicts your personality

**notadonkey:**

what will said

**frankly:**

what grover said

**nutella:**

what frank said

**beautifulanddeadly:**

what hazel said

**redhead:**

what silena said

**juniperbush:**

what rachel said

**usedtobeatree:**

what juniper said

**rEyNa:**

what thalia said

**wisegirl:**

what reyna said

is that everyone

**notadonkey:**

yeah i think so

anyways, luke, how do you feel?

**golden:**

i feel better ig

but one thing i wanna ask y'all

**frankly:**

what?

**golden:**

how do i ask ethan out on a date

**beautifulanddeadly:**

LKFJDLKFKLDJF

**wisegirl:**

JFLDJFLDJS

**rEyNa:**

JFDJFSLJDLJF

**notadonkey:**

JDKLFJDLSJFLKD

**redhead:**

KFDLKJFLDJFLKJ

**juniperbush:**

JLFJDLKFJDLSJFD

**usedtobeatree:**

JFJKDSJFJDSLJF

**frankly:**

ADSDDFKLDJSLF

**nutella:**

SDJFDDFKLDJS

**sunshine:**

ALJDSJIWEJDF

**wisegirl:**

sorry about that

**golden:**

i am very confused and weirded out-

but whatever

please answer my question

**sunshine:**

just do it?

**usedtobeatree:**

gods, you sound like a nike ad

**rEyNa:**

and not nike as in the goddess

but yeah. just ask him dO yOu WaNt To Go OuT wItH mE

or something

**golden:**

thank you for the advice, reyna, but i don't know how to speak in that font :)

**rEyNa:**

shut up you cheeky ass hoe

**golden:**

i-

**juniperbush:**

do what reyna and grover said, but you could ask him to watch a movie with you and confess or something

idk. i'm not good on relationships lmao

**golden:**

why would you be in a gay panic gc then?

oh wait, i'm going to assume that you guys don't get ppl asking y'all how to confess that often

**wisegirl:**

well, your assumptions are correct :)

don't bully juniper tho

grover gets mad abt that

**notadonkey:**

HEY >:(

I'M RIGHT HERE!

**wisegirl:**

just sayin' lol

silena, you're the daughter of aphrodite

give him some advice aldjlajfd

**beautifulanddeadly:**

i know ethan's not the eXtReMeLy RoMaNtIc type, so don't go overboard

just be casual? i have no idea how to explain it

**golden:**

you guys are extremely helpful-

**frankly:**

we try to be :)

**nutella:**

yeah :)

**golden:**

i-

**golden** left the groupchat

**beautifulanddeadly:**

is there are lukethan gc yet

**sunshine:**

no i don't think so

why?

**beautifulanddeadly:**

imma make one

**beautifulanddeadly** made a groupchat

 **beautifulanddeadly** named the groupchat **operation lukethan**

 **beautifulanddeadly** added **seaweedbrain** , **wisegirl** , **ghostking** , **sunshine** , **murderonmymind** , **notadonkey** , **juniperbush** , **electriclove** , **pipes** , **nutella** , **frankly** ,

 **usedtobeatree** , **rEyNa** , **commandertoolbelt** , and **redhead**

**[operation lukethan]**

_8:41pm_

**beautifulandddeadly:**

well if we didn't know that luke likes ethan before, we certainly do NOW

_2 attachments_

**electriclove:**

wait, are ethan and luke in here?

**beautifulanddeadly:**

no they aren't

**pipes:**

HOLY SHIT JDSKLFJLDJSFLJD

NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL ONE OF THEM DECIDES TO BE CONFIDENT AND CONFESS :D

**ghostking:**

knowing ethan, he's probably not going to do it anytime soon

**wisegirl:**

and knowing luke, he's probably not gonna do it EITHER

**usedtobeatree:**

^^

**seaweedbrain:**

well we all know that i'm impatient as hell so what are we gonna do

**electriclove:**

^^

**commandertoolbelt:**

^^^

**frankly:**

as much as i wanna be the civilized person here, i just wanna see them together already

**redhead:**

maybe hazel could do something with the mist?

**nutella:**

what can we do tho?

**sunshine:**

there's nothing that the mist can really do to help tbh

**seaweedbrain:**

i would say try to get them alone together BUT THEY FREAKING LIVE TOGETHER

**juniperbush:**

right?

**notadonkey:**

this is ridiculously frustrating

**commandertoolbelt:**

why can't they just confess already 

**redhead:**

it's for the plot

**pipes:**

the plot of what-

**redhead:**

the plot of our lives

blame the fates for this smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 glitched out at the end so this chapter is a little shorter than planned. oof.
> 
> also, please give me username ideas for lou ellen, cecil, travis, connor, lacy, and mitchell jdkjfaljda


End file.
